I dislike having to deal with periods for many reasons.
1. I swell up
2. It flares my Lupus
3. I'm exhausted
4. I can hardly eat
5. I gain water weight
I have a feeling my period is fixing to start now because it's hard for me to exercise and I tend to sleep longer. My body is very tender to touch and I can move around like I used to. My sleep schedule is totally messed up because of how sick I feel. I just want this flare up to be over with already 🙄🤢😷
The other night was pretty scary to me. I was telling my mom how when I was asleep I thought she was saying my name but whenever I sat up she wasn't there. Then a few minutes later all I heard was "Wake up" and as soon as I heard that I popped up so fast. I told my mother it was around midnight when that happened and she told next time that happens wake up and say "yes lord, im here." She told me that is the time God talks to you and that means you have a blessing coming your way. After awhile around 4 I went to the bathroom and when I look into my mom room there was a dark shadow above her head and it scared me so I ran back to my room and started praying for my mother.
Those things haven't happened to me since my aunt died two summers ago. Looks like I need to start reading my Bible a lot more than I am now because if I have a blessing coming my way I sure do want to accept it.
Today is Friday, the last day of my workouts and I decided to do cardio (Stupid mistake). My legs are burning 🔥 and my body is extremely exhausted and in pain 😭. A nice salt bubble bath will be my bestfriend for the next few days until I can gain the engery and the pain is not as hurtful from the past workout sessions.
Getting up early every morning has been hard for me. It finally caught up to me yesterday when I could barely walk around the store with my mom and drive around town as well. I took me a nap as soon as I finish eating my breakfast and watched the rest of the wnba game.
Knowing my body is in pain tells me the exercises are working. That's a great feeling to me even though it makes things hard for me to do stuff, I still feel like I have accomplished my fears 👌🏽
So I had this wig in my room I had bought during the school year last year but didn't wear it for long because I was too sick and my hair was falling out.
Yesterday, my mother and I went to our hairstylist so that he could tighten her hair and take some layers out of my hair. Little did we know he was going to do it and do my hair at the same time. I thought it was funny because I only went there to watch my mom get her hair done but I ended up getting mine done as well and I also took over her appointment 😂
After he finished with my hair I felt like a new person. I started to fantasized about what I would look like when I dressed up and put my makeup and totally got happy. 💄💄 I know it's weird to having a weave wig make me feel like a new person rather than me just being me and changing the way I do things.
This is a new week with another morning full of exercises. I had my alarm set for 5 o'clock this morning but when it went off I didn't get up, I just laid in the bed and turned it off. I thought to myself "maybe I should workout tonight instead of this morning since I am feeling nauseated and my stomach is hurting" then I went back to sleep. About two hours went by and I decided to get up and do my exercises. I dream about it and changed my mind because giving up was not a option for me anymore. Always remember to keep going and never give up! Stay fighting for yourself because you never know who is watching you fight and want to be like you. You are a inspiration to a little girl out there and you don't even know it. So, keep fighting and NEVER EVER give up!
I've been waking up early in the morning just to workout and it has been paying off. My body feels stronger and I am having more energy. I feel confident in myself to be who I used to be but even better. Some mornings are rougher than others but I push through it because I am strong and not a quitter. ✊🏽 I thank God every day for allowing me to get up every morning and workout with no complaints. It is because of him that keeps me going. Today I only did a few exercises this morning and I will do more later when I wake up again. Also, today is my twin little brothers birthday 💕 they are finally 18 years old 🔞 they too push me to keep going and never give up because they strive to be the best and I also strive to be my best.
Yesterday was a great day for me because of the knowledge of my weight loss but today my body is extremely exhausted from my exercises.
Dealing with an autoimmune disease our body tends to have the symptom called fatigue. This symptom mean that we will be tired a lot and will need to relax every once in awhile. This morning my body is telling me to just stay in bed and do not do anything.. But I am hard head so I actually did more exercises but upper body exercise because my legs are still burning from yesterday 😂.
I’m not lazy because I need to take a nap or if I need to just relax and stay in bed. My body is tired and hurting pretty badly. A day to rest doesn’t always help but it settles things down for people with autoimmune diseases. It might take longer than expected but we are NOT lazy.
I am doing my brother a favor and babysit his dog who is like a son to him and like a nephew to me 🐶🐕🐾 I could’ve said “No, I am tired and I need to rest” but I didn’t. That’s proof that I am not lazy but just tired.
To answer the smart remarks about this situation is that we are not lazy, we are just tired because our bodies do not have much energy in them but we fight it and pay for it every day; Therefore, before you say “Your not tired you just lazy” take a look at what they’ve been through and take a step further back and be in their shoes.
I have the best news to share with you guys on this lovely morning!
Now, being overweight never been a problem for me because I used to be an athlete and was constantly doing some type of physical activity whether it was for basketball, volleyball and/or track (shot put). I was muscular and big boned but never overweight.
Over the period of time once I had stopped playing sports and stopped doing physical activities I had gained a bunch of weight. When I was diagnosed with Lupus they had to put me on steroids 😔. At first they didn’t effect my ability to do anything but helped me become stronger but the more active my Lupus was becoming the higher my dosage went. I ended up gaining a lot of weight plus water weight from my kidneys not functioning properly.
My body has changed several times by shrinking to gaining then gaining to shrinking. It caused me to have all kinds of stretch marks and loose skins and a deformed stomach 🙄
I’ve been struggling to lose weight these past few months. I was stuck in the 200 pounds Era.. Recently, I was weighing 205 pounds 😔 I’m 20 years old and I felt like that weight shouldn’t be on me. I hated being so big it made me feel so bad about myself and have a self-esteem of a seed.
For a few weeks now I’ve been doing a little bit of exercises on my own. This week I came up to Oklahoma City for a church convention and at 3 o’clock this morning I went to the fitness room at my hotel.
Now, remember me telling you I weighed 205 pounds? Well guys, I weighed myself before I started working out and I was 188, but after I was finished I weighed myself once again and I was 183.
All together I have lost 22 pounds!! Can you guys believe it? I have officially lost the weight and I am feeling great! What you do in the dark will come to the light! And my little session came with success. My stomach is coming back and I will be back down to my old shaped but better! I had to dress myself up this morning because I feel AMAZING so I am going to look AMAZING! 🔥🔥
There comes a time when you have to look at yourself before you can judge someone.
These are some of the questions you may need to answer before you truly know your own self image. Write it down, say it every day, send it out, read it, but whatever you do don’t let it go. Having your own self image should be a priority and not an option.
Beauty within yourself 