Listen, God is talking

The other night was pretty scary to me. I was telling my mom how when I was asleep I thought she was saying my name but whenever I sat up she wasn't there. Then a few minutes later all I heard was "Wake up" and as soon as I heard that I popped up so fast. I told my mother it was around midnight when that happened and she told next time that happens wake up and say "yes lord, im here." She told me that is the time God talks to you and that means you have a blessing coming your way. After awhile around 4 I went to the bathroom and when I look into my mom room there was a dark shadow above her head and it scared me so I ran back to my room and started praying for my mother.

Those things haven't happened to me since my aunt died two summers ago. Looks like I need to start reading my Bible a lot more than I am now because if I have a blessing coming my way I sure do want to accept it.

New hair new me

So I had this wig in my room I had bought during the school year last year but didn't wear it for long because I was too sick and my hair was falling out.
Yesterday, my mother and I went to our hairstylist so that he could tighten her hair and take some layers out of my hair. Little did we know he was going to do it and do my hair at the same time. I thought it was funny because I only went there to watch my mom get her hair done but I ended up getting mine done as well and I also took over her appointment 😂

After he finished with my hair I felt like a new person. I started to fantasized about what I would look like when I dressed up and put my makeup and totally got happy. 💄💄 I know it's weird to having a weave wig make me feel like a new person rather than me just being me and changing the way I do things.

Wake up and workout!!

I've been waking up early in the morning just to workout and it has been paying off. My body feels stronger and I am having more energy. I feel confident in myself to be who I used to be but even better. Some mornings are rougher than others but I push through it because I am strong and not a quitter. ✊🏽 I thank God every day for allowing me to get up every morning and workout with no complaints. It is because of him that keeps me going. Today I only did a few exercises this morning and I will do more later when I wake up again. Also, today is my twin little brothers birthday 💕 they are finally 18 years old 🔞 they too push me to keep going and never give up because they strive to be the best and I also strive to be my best.

Stress

Let go and let God. I can write a whole post on stress but I am not going to do it.
Stress can trigger my Lupus and cause it to flare up. Lately, I've been stressing out because my mom is stressed. We are struggling but no one can see it. She is constantly doing things for others who won't do things for her. I wish I could take all the stress away from her and handle it on my own but that's not going to happen.
I often deal with stress by working out and letting everything go. This morning was a great morning to let everything go. My body is feeling more powerful than before.

The only advice I can give you is find something that you can come to peace with and use it as a tool. The other thing is what I had said before, "Let go and let God."

Tired or just lazy?Β 

Yesterday was a great day for me because of the knowledge of my weight loss but today my body is extremely exhausted from my exercises. 

Dealing with an autoimmune disease our body tends to have the symptom called fatigue. This symptom mean that we will be tired a lot and will need to relax every once in awhile. This morning my body is telling me to just stay in bed and do not do anything.. But I am hard head so I actually did more exercises but upper body exercise because my legs are still burning from yesterday πŸ˜‚. 

I’m not lazy because I need to take a nap or if I need to just relax and stay in bed. My body is tired and hurting pretty badly. A day to rest doesn’t always help but it settles things down for people with autoimmune diseases. It might take longer than expected but we are NOT lazy. 

I am doing my brother a favor and babysit his dog who is like a son to him and like a nephew to me πŸΆπŸ•πŸΎ I could’ve said “No, I am tired and I need to rest” but I didn’t. That’s proof that I am not lazy but just tired. 

To answer the smart remarks about this situation is that we are not lazy, we are just tired because our bodies do not have much energy in them but we fight it and pay for it every day; Therefore, before you say “Your not tired you just lazy” take a look at what they’ve been through and take a step further back and be in their shoes. 

Shrinking and I love it!Β 

I have the best news to share with you guys on this lovely morning! 

Now, being overweight never been a problem for me because I used to be an athlete and was constantly doing some type of physical activity whether it was for basketball, volleyball and/or track (shot put). I was muscular and big boned but never overweight. 

Over the period of time once I had stopped playing sports and stopped doing physical activities I had gained a bunch of weight. When I was diagnosed with Lupus they had to put me on steroids πŸ˜”. At first they didn’t effect my ability to do anything but helped me become stronger but the more active my Lupus was becoming the higher my dosage went. I ended up gaining a lot of weight plus water weight from my kidneys not functioning properly. 

My body has changed several times by shrinking to gaining then gaining to shrinking. It caused me to have all kinds of stretch marks and loose skins and a deformed stomach πŸ™„ 

I’ve been struggling to lose weight these past few months. I was stuck in the 200 pounds Era.. Recently, I was weighing 205 pounds πŸ˜” I’m 20 years old and I felt like that weight shouldn’t be on me. I hated being so big it made me feel so bad about myself and have a self-esteem of a seed. 

For a few weeks now I’ve been doing a little bit of exercises on my own. This week I came up to Oklahoma City for a church convention and at 3 o’clock this morning I went to the fitness room at my hotel. 

Now, remember me telling you I weighed 205 pounds? Well guys, I weighed myself before I started working out and I was 188, but after I was finished I weighed myself once again and I was 183.

 All together I have lost 22 pounds!! Can you guys believe it? I have officially lost the weight and I am feeling great! What you do in the dark will come to the light! And my little session came with success. My stomach is coming back and I will be back down to my old shaped but better! I had to dress myself up this morning because I feel AMAZING  so I am going to look AMAZING! πŸ”₯πŸ”₯