Today is Friday, the last day of my workouts and I decided to do cardio (Stupid mistake). My legs are burning 🔥 and my body is extremely exhausted and in pain 😭. A nice salt bubble bath will be my bestfriend for the next few days until I can gain the engery and the pain is not as hurtful from the past workout sessions.
Getting up early every morning has been hard for me. It finally caught up to me yesterday when I could barely walk around the store with my mom and drive around town as well. I took me a nap as soon as I finish eating my breakfast and watched the rest of the wnba game.
Knowing my body is in pain tells me the exercises are working. That's a great feeling to me even though it makes things hard for me to do stuff, I still feel like I have accomplished my fears 👌🏽
So I had this wig in my room I had bought during the school year last year but didn't wear it for long because I was too sick and my hair was falling out.
Yesterday, my mother and I went to our hairstylist so that he could tighten her hair and take some layers out of my hair. Little did we know he was going to do it and do my hair at the same time. I thought it was funny because I only went there to watch my mom get her hair done but I ended up getting mine done as well and I also took over her appointment 😂
After he finished with my hair I felt like a new person. I started to fantasized about what I would look like when I dressed up and put my makeup and totally got happy. 💄💄 I know it's weird to having a weave wig make me feel like a new person rather than me just being me and changing the way I do things.
I have the best news to share with you guys on this lovely morning!
Now, being overweight never been a problem for me because I used to be an athlete and was constantly doing some type of physical activity whether it was for basketball, volleyball and/or track (shot put). I was muscular and big boned but never overweight.
Over the period of time once I had stopped playing sports and stopped doing physical activities I had gained a bunch of weight. When I was diagnosed with Lupus they had to put me on steroids 😔. At first they didn’t effect my ability to do anything but helped me become stronger but the more active my Lupus was becoming the higher my dosage went. I ended up gaining a lot of weight plus water weight from my kidneys not functioning properly.
My body has changed several times by shrinking to gaining then gaining to shrinking. It caused me to have all kinds of stretch marks and loose skins and a deformed stomach 🙄
I’ve been struggling to lose weight these past few months. I was stuck in the 200 pounds Era.. Recently, I was weighing 205 pounds 😔 I’m 20 years old and I felt like that weight shouldn’t be on me. I hated being so big it made me feel so bad about myself and have a self-esteem of a seed.
For a few weeks now I’ve been doing a little bit of exercises on my own. This week I came up to Oklahoma City for a church convention and at 3 o’clock this morning I went to the fitness room at my hotel.
Now, remember me telling you I weighed 205 pounds? Well guys, I weighed myself before I started working out and I was 188, but after I was finished I weighed myself once again and I was 183.
All together I have lost 22 pounds!! Can you guys believe it? I have officially lost the weight and I am feeling great! What you do in the dark will come to the light! And my little session came with success. My stomach is coming back and I will be back down to my old shaped but better! I had to dress myself up this morning because I feel AMAZING so I am going to look AMAZING! 🔥🔥
Could you please cool down? I want to be able to walk outside and not pass out. I am trying to look cute this summer and show off my progress when I start working out. It is ridiculous that you can get this hot. I already have skin problems due to my autoimmune disease and I do not need any more problems. I can only cover so much with the clothes I am able to wear.. But if you cool down I will be able to wear less! So please heat, I am begging you to cool down and have a nice breeze.
The girl struggling with lupus and beauty.
There comes a time when you have to look at yourself before you can judge someone.
- Do you have a self image that is noticeable?
- Do you judge others because it makes you feel better?
- Have you let what others think ruin your image?
- Are you hard on yourself?
- Do you look at others and wish you were them?
These are some of the questions you may need to answer before you truly know your own self image. Write it down, say it every day, send it out, read it, but whatever you do don’t let it go. Having your own self image should be a priority and not an option.
Every morning I wake up Lupus likes to attack me with making my body feel so weak and hurting. I battle against it by getting dolled up and making myself beautiful… If you look good you feel good, that’s my motto.