Listen, God is talking

The other night was pretty scary to me. I was telling my mom how when I was asleep I thought she was saying my name but whenever I sat up she wasn't there. Then a few minutes later all I heard was "Wake up" and as soon as I heard that I popped up so fast. I told my mother it was around midnight when that happened and she told next time that happens wake up and say "yes lord, im here." She told me that is the time God talks to you and that means you have a blessing coming your way. After awhile around 4 I went to the bathroom and when I look into my mom room there was a dark shadow above her head and it scared me so I ran back to my room and started praying for my mother.

Those things haven't happened to me since my aunt died two summers ago. Looks like I need to start reading my Bible a lot more than I am now because if I have a blessing coming my way I sure do want to accept it.


The great feeling of pain

Today is Friday, the last day of my workouts and I decided to do cardio (Stupid mistake). My legs are burning 🔥 and my body is extremely exhausted and in pain 😭. A nice salt bubble bath will be my bestfriend for the next few days until I can gain the engery and the pain is not as hurtful from the past workout sessions.
Getting up early every morning has been hard for me. It finally caught up to me yesterday when I could barely walk around the store with my mom and drive around town as well. I took me a nap as soon as I finish eating my breakfast and watched the rest of the wnba game.

Knowing my body is in pain tells me the exercises are working. That's a great feeling to me even though it makes things hard for me to do stuff, I still feel like I have accomplished my fears 👌🏽

New hair new me

So I had this wig in my room I had bought during the school year last year but didn't wear it for long because I was too sick and my hair was falling out.
Yesterday, my mother and I went to our hairstylist so that he could tighten her hair and take some layers out of my hair. Little did we know he was going to do it and do my hair at the same time. I thought it was funny because I only went there to watch my mom get her hair done but I ended up getting mine done as well and I also took over her appointment 😂

After he finished with my hair I felt like a new person. I started to fantasized about what I would look like when I dressed up and put my makeup and totally got happy. 💄💄 I know it's weird to having a weave wig make me feel like a new person rather than me just being me and changing the way I do things.

Increase medicine

I started taking two Cellcept twice daily on Sunday instead of just one and I can feel the effect of the medication. I hate going up on my medications because there is always a side effect that appears out of nowhere.. Recently, having diarrhea seems to be the main side effect I am always getting. Every now and then I will feel nauseated or I will have some type of pain but diarrhea is the main one.

The Nephrologist think Cellcept will help save the 20% of my kidneys that are currently working and I hope it can save them as well but I believe being on dialysis will be the best option for me. I don't feel the same as other people did when they were on dialysis but feeling tired was what I felt during my session.

Increasing medicine can be useful or it can be harmful, it all depends on what medication you are taking. I know this from experience and knowledge. If you need any help with this stuff you guys can always ask the doctor or me.

Sleepless nights 

  • Have you ever went had trouble sleeping at night? 
  • Have you ever need medication to help sleep? 

I have this issue every so often and the best way to get the through this problem is reading. I’ll find a book that I know is boring and read it until I start to get sleepy along with going into the kitchen and getting me something to eat or drink. Another option is to take a nice bath to help relax your mind and body.. By doing that your body will be more ease and you’ll be able to sleep.  

I mainly have sleepless nights due to some of the medications I take for my Lupus but also because my body is usually in severe pain and it’s hard to concentrate on sleep. For example, right now I am making this blog post early today because I cannot go to sleep after waking up in the middle of the night due to pain. Therefore, I am having a sleepless night. I’ll should follow my own advice on how to overcome this problem, right? 

Love yourself 

I have a hard time loving myself because of the weight gain and skin problems I deal with while having Lupus. Getting ready and making myself look like a little black Barbie doll is the best way I know how to love myself regardless of all the imperfections I am dealing with. Lupus may have changed my life but it just made me feel stronger and become more unique so my fellow friends, love yourself and be happy! 

The drag of doctors appointment 

It’s Friday! The day everyone can’t wait to get here! Sadly, I have a kidney appointment today.. I dislike doctor’s appointment but I get to find out my biopsy results 😊 I decided to make myself look beautiful so that I can walk into the doctor’s office with a positive attitude. Besides, maybe I’ll receive some good news! I mean, don’t I look wonderful today? I feel like crap but im definitely not going to show it 💁🏽