Stress

Let go and let God. I can write a whole post on stress but I am not going to do it.
Stress can trigger my Lupus and cause it to flare up. Lately, I've been stressing out because my mom is stressed. We are struggling but no one can see it. She is constantly doing things for others who won't do things for her. I wish I could take all the stress away from her and handle it on my own but that's not going to happen.
I often deal with stress by working out and letting everything go. This morning was a great morning to let everything go. My body is feeling more powerful than before.

The only advice I can give you is find something that you can come to peace with and use it as a tool. The other thing is what I had said before, "Let go and let God."

Food is my bestfriend

Food, I love you. I eat you every day and try my best to eat you almost every hour of the day and night. But why do you have to be so bad for me. You cannot be salty, dry, too much sugar. All you need to be is full of protein to help me with my kidneys. Be tasteful for me to eat and help out with the workout. A good diet while exercising will make my weight come off faster. I understand being on a lot of steroids will cause me to eat more and have a appetite like a elephant.

This is our new season food. It's time for us to change. My eating habits will NOT be a problem anymore! If I eat healthy I will feel healthier.
I do not want to do this but I HAVE to do it. New week, New start, New me. 💪🏼

Tired or just lazy? 

Yesterday was a great day for me because of the knowledge of my weight loss but today my body is extremely exhausted from my exercises. 

Dealing with an autoimmune disease our body tends to have the symptom called fatigue. This symptom mean that we will be tired a lot and will need to relax every once in awhile. This morning my body is telling me to just stay in bed and do not do anything.. But I am hard head so I actually did more exercises but upper body exercise because my legs are still burning from yesterday 😂. 

I’m not lazy because I need to take a nap or if I need to just relax and stay in bed. My body is tired and hurting pretty badly. A day to rest doesn’t always help but it settles things down for people with autoimmune diseases. It might take longer than expected but we are NOT lazy. 

I am doing my brother a favor and babysit his dog who is like a son to him and like a nephew to me 🐶🐕🐾 I could’ve said “No, I am tired and I need to rest” but I didn’t. That’s proof that I am not lazy but just tired. 

To answer the smart remarks about this situation is that we are not lazy, we are just tired because our bodies do not have much energy in them but we fight it and pay for it every day; Therefore, before you say “Your not tired you just lazy” take a look at what they’ve been through and take a step further back and be in their shoes. 

Shrinking and I love it! 

I have the best news to share with you guys on this lovely morning! 

Now, being overweight never been a problem for me because I used to be an athlete and was constantly doing some type of physical activity whether it was for basketball, volleyball and/or track (shot put). I was muscular and big boned but never overweight. 

Over the period of time once I had stopped playing sports and stopped doing physical activities I had gained a bunch of weight. When I was diagnosed with Lupus they had to put me on steroids 😔. At first they didn’t effect my ability to do anything but helped me become stronger but the more active my Lupus was becoming the higher my dosage went. I ended up gaining a lot of weight plus water weight from my kidneys not functioning properly. 

My body has changed several times by shrinking to gaining then gaining to shrinking. It caused me to have all kinds of stretch marks and loose skins and a deformed stomach 🙄 

I’ve been struggling to lose weight these past few months. I was stuck in the 200 pounds Era.. Recently, I was weighing 205 pounds 😔 I’m 20 years old and I felt like that weight shouldn’t be on me. I hated being so big it made me feel so bad about myself and have a self-esteem of a seed. 

For a few weeks now I’ve been doing a little bit of exercises on my own. This week I came up to Oklahoma City for a church convention and at 3 o’clock this morning I went to the fitness room at my hotel. 

Now, remember me telling you I weighed 205 pounds? Well guys, I weighed myself before I started working out and I was 188, but after I was finished I weighed myself once again and I was 183.

 All together I have lost 22 pounds!! Can you guys believe it? I have officially lost the weight and I am feeling great! What you do in the dark will come to the light! And my little session came with success. My stomach is coming back and I will be back down to my old shaped but better! I had to dress myself up this morning because I feel AMAZING  so I am going to look AMAZING! 🔥🔥

Hot Hot Hot!!

Dear heat, 

Could you please cool down? I want to be able to walk outside and not pass out. I am trying to look cute this summer and show off my progress when I start working out. It is ridiculous that you can get this hot. I already have skin problems due to my autoimmune disease and I do not need any more problems. I can only cover so much with the clothes I am able to wear.. But if you cool down I will be able to wear less! So please heat, I am begging you to cool down and have a nice breeze. 

Sincerely, 

The girl struggling with lupus and beauty. 

Brain fog with lupus 

I used to have great memory! But now it’s starting to become weak. Having Lupus you have this problem called brain fog, meaning you have a moment where you don’t remember anything. Sometimes I tend to forget how to spell my own name. 

Brain Fog example 

This morning I received a text from someone whose name was not saved. They told me we meet on Facebook awhile back. Now let me tell you I deleted my Facebook a very long time ago so remembering who he was, was going to be even harder. He also told me he used to call me his queen and everything. However, when I put his name in my phone it showed up but I still didn’t know who he was! I was seriously getting frustrated. I felt bad because he was super excited when I responded but since I didn’t know who he was I didn’t feel the same way. 

Lupus is horrid disease that I hate having to deal with at a young age. The fact it causes me to have memory loss is even worse! I hate it I hate it I hate it!! Lord, why did you give me this horrible disease 😩